Holding Hands

January 13, 2013

I was fortunate to have a pretty amazing/progressive sexual education. When I was an early teen I participated in a program called AYS (About Your Sexuality) that my church put on. You can read the wikipedia article for a slightly jaded synopsis of the curriculum, but for me it provided all of the information that I needed to take it real slowly, sexually speaking.

As a result while most of my guys friends were losing their virginity, I was kissing and holding hands. I got really good at it. In fact I got so good at it that I had an entire (2 week) relationship once that centered around (shall we say) erotic hand holding. Twenty something years later I find that I still get a charge from it.

The beginning startles me sometimes. We are walking side by side. The back of her hand will brush against my hip as we walk. It’s been 18 years but it still makes me smile (sometimes privately) when she signals this way. On the next swing of my arm our open palms bush and our fingers lock, my hand goes below, hers above. Our pace synchronises, she gives a little squeeze and my perspective shifts. We are now walking together towards something. It doesn’t matter what that something is because we are getting there, together.

Maybe I was lost in thought before. Perhaps I was a little pookie. With the locking of fingers, small concerns evaporate, bigger challenges seem surmountable, and the sunshine smells fresher.


  1. Comment by Estelle Dodson via Facebook

    Estelle Dodson via Facebook January 13, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    Beautiful. And Eric and I read and are learning from your link to first kiss on thought catalog. So much to savor.

  2. Comment by Toni Popoki Reed via Facebook

    Toni Popoki Reed via Facebook January 14, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Love this. Beautiful people, love to you from all of us!

  3. Comment by CJ

    CJ January 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

    This is lovely, Tucker! Having a spouse who’s a full foot taller than I am makes hand holding less fluid and much more awkward for us (unless we’re sitting down), but I appreciate the reminder of the power of those simple connections. (And I should have guessed that you had a UU past! OWL has replaced AYS, but I’m very pleased with the curriculum so far. My daughter did a K-1 version last year, and I was quite impressed.)

    • Comment by Tucker Bradford

      Tucker Bradford January 16, 2013 at 4:02 am

      I totally take our vertical compatibility for granted. Thanks for reminding me how fortunate we are. Yeah, I did read a little about OWL. It’s funny that AYS was controversial, it seems as though the things people complained about were the very things that contributed to my making better choices than I would have otherwise. The fact that there is a K-1 version of OWL makes it a huge improvement in my book.

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