Travel on Forgeover

A Day in the Life: Walking to Work in a Blizzard

Thu, 08 Mar 2018 15:44:37 +0000

It’s been a while since we have posted an update. Mostly we have been busy with school and jobs and planning for a great new adventure in the summer. But more on that later. For now, here’s a glimpse of an average morning… walking to work in a blizzard.

Kolmanskop - Ghost Town

Sat, 04 Mar 2017 11:39:21 +0000

We got up early early again this morning so we could get to Kolmanskop before the tour busses. It was a really good thing we did too. A surprising number of people showed up today to see this abandoned diamond mining boom town.

Hout Bay Field Trip

Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:45:22 +0000

Our friends on s/y Eva took us on a little road trip to Hout Bay today. We picked up some more green coffee beans, and some hard to find grocery items (black beans!) and then went off to see some natural beauty. The wind was raging (probably 30-40 knots) and kids and adults all enjoyed it’s strength without having to worry about the consequences (save for one lost hat). We finished the day with a fantastic Indian food picnic with a view of the bay and surrounding mountains.

Cape Town

Sun, 12 Feb 2017 00:36:36 +0000

The kids eat breakfast, tell us that their schoolwork is done and dash off to see their friends. There are two kid boats here right now (Eva and Yemaya) and five extra kids mean that there is never a dull moment for them.

Vick and I take advantage of this new freedom to explore the town’s coffee shops and cafes. In the evening, we go to one of the neighbor’s boats for sundowners, tattoos, or an impromptu party. Life is sure enough good!

Jeremy Loops @ Kirstenbosch

Mon, 06 Feb 2017 09:46:10 +0000

Sani Pass: Short Video

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 04:40:32 +0000

Here’s a short but fantastic video done by the same guy that did New Year’s Ink

Audio Credit: Ehrling

Video Credit: Wayne Willis

Sani Pass—Dangerous Road; Stunning Vista

Sat, 07 Jan 2017 03:17:17 +0000

One of the things that I have been surprised with over and over on our trip around the world is how many times virtual strangers have offered to level up our experience by showing us their favorite places.

On New Year’s Eve we met Wayne, Robyn, Steve, and Mandy and invited them over to Convivia for a little celebration. They showed up with the 3am Delos tattoo party, and before they left had invited to take all seven of us up the Sani Pass to Lesotho. This pass is listed on Dangerous Roads dot com (let that name sink in for a sec) where they make special note of the carcass of 4x4s that didn’t make it, littering the ravine below. Vick was just elated by the proposal (sarcasm).

Tany Kely - Sea Turtle

Tue, 18 Oct 2016 03:01:30 +0000

Yesterday I unlocked a life achievement. While snorkeling at Tany Kely, I noticed a sea turtle. He was having a leisurely lunch on the reef far below. It was deeper than I normally free dive, but I wanted to chill with him so badly that I just took a breath and went for it.

Nosy Komba

Wed, 12 Oct 2016 10:37:50 +0000

We have seen lemurs already (in Russian Bay) but all of us were excited to have a better introduction to them at the (locally) famed Nosy Komba lemur park.

The island is a weird mix of eco-tourism and authentic Malagash culture. It’s like a cleaned up Nosy Be. The pathways were all kept immaculate and the arts and crafts stalls boasted some of the best finished work we have seen in Madagascar.

Famadihada: The Turning of the Dead

Sat, 17 Sep 2016 09:11:03 +0000

Five years ago, a teenage girl died in the small Malagasy village of Antanambe. She was buried, as is her family custom, with all of her relatives, in a small plot cleared from the rain-forest in Verezanantsoro National Park. Here she awaits the decay of her corporeal form, so that she may finally join the spirit world. In the meantime though, she becomes lonely. The song and dance, the strong tradition of love and support that her village offered in life, is absent in death.

Point Cotton Hike

Thu, 07 Jul 2016 01:40:56 +0000

Rodrigues Music

Mon, 27 Jun 2016 00:02:00 +0000

Cocos Keeling: A Slice of Paradise

Wed, 25 May 2016 02:50:42 +0000

There are places that you hear about from other cruisers, special places. Perhaps the first time will be over sundowners in someone’s cockpit, and then again online, or through the coconut telegraph. After a while, a few of these places rise to the top, they become legendary. We have had the incredible good fortune of having visited many of them, but this one, we almost missed.

We had originally planned to take the North Indian Ocean route, which would have shown us Sri Lanka, Maldives, Chagos (another storied cruiser destination) and possibly Seychelles. The wind died early for that route, this year, and we missed our chance. Then we decided to go from Padang, Sumatra, directly to Madagascar, but the winds weren’t really blowing that way and we didn’t have the fuel to motor to the wind. So we lucked out.

Nias: Day One

Tue, 19 Apr 2016 05:56:58 +0000

Today we joined No Regrets, for a trip into town for fuel, groceries and a visit to a traditional, mountain top village. When we arrived a local kid came up and offered to do a high jump demonstration. In this village, young men must jump over this stone structure in order to win the right to marry (I guess they were breeding for height).

The jump was over so quickly that I am really glad I recorded it. You can enjoy it below the photos.

Chillin' in Thailand

Tue, 22 Mar 2016 03:20:37 +0000

The pace of life aboard Convivia has shifted. The hectic days of boatyard stress are behind us, as are the days in the Marina, fixing those last few (critical) systems. We’ve found a sleepy beachfront to anchor in front of and, with no transportation, have settled into leisurely days of kids floating beside the boat, easy conversation, and no plans to speak of.

This transition to cruising-proper is one that you can’t see but in hindsight. I think it started three or four days ago when we returned our scooter. It was given a boost by our recent depletion of funds, which strengthens our resolve to stay put. We’ve got another kid boat nearby (Quasar) so ours have a friend to occupy the day. They come home exhausted and hungry, and crash out early, leaving plenty of time for Vick and I to play games and share a couple of ciders.

Thaispusam in Penang

Wed, 06 Jan 2016 06:46:40 +0000

We had an Uber driver recently that asked us if we would be in Penang for Thaipusam. He was part way through forty days of preparation, fasting, celibacy and not shaving in advance of this important Tamil Hindu holiday commentating the God Murugan, representing goodness over evil. Because our stay in Penang was much longer than we anticipated the kids and I had an opportunity to witness the celebration.

In Penang, thousands of devotees follow a procession of a chariot to the Sri Mahamariamman Temple carrying small pots of fresh cow’s milk as offerings. Other devotees observe by piercing their skin with small hooks or large skewers and carrying large kavadi on supports around their shoulders and waists.

Yard Dog's Christmas

Mon, 21 Dec 2015 01:11:21 +0000

We have been in the boat yard for two weeks now. Things are moving along at the expected pace (slower than I would hope, but reasonable for this oppressive climate). The boat is covered, and has its first coat of primer. The propeller shaft is off, the old swim ladder (which has been held captive by the Monitor for years now) is being removed and welded over. While we have the hull exposed, we are also adding glass around the keel (about 6mm at the widest point) and removing some blisters.

Refueling Adventure

Fri, 13 Nov 2015 00:00:55 +0000

Continued from here

Trying our luck, in this case meant speaking entirely in Indonesian, asking around for someone who might have a surplus, and then negotiating the purchase or trade without the benefit of local currency (which we had divested ourselves of in Belitung, as we were intending to leave the country).

While we were attempting to nap, a precocious pre-teenager named Chandra paddled up in his dugout, asking for books, water, and/or footballs. We offered a few gifts, and then I asked (sensing his “can do” personality) if he could help me find solar (diesel). With the help of Google Translate, I learned that he could help, but only if I came with him right then. I hadn’t slept a consecutive 3 hours in the last 72 and the prospect of undertaking such an adventure was daunting, to say the least.

I Want to See Dragons for My Birthday

Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:35:55 +0000

We take birthday wishes seriously in Convivia. We keep presents small and homemade, as the real celebration is in the cake. Cakes are dreamed up layer by layer, often years in advance. Olive wishes for her eighth birthday were a stuffed mouse, a watch, pizza for dinner, and a caramel, chocolate, marshmallow and chocolate ganache layer cake. All of her wishes seemed totally reasonable thanks to my mom sending a birthday watch to us before we even left Brisbane. I had a stuffed mouse pattern on board, along with fabric and stuffing. I stowed a stash of Belgian chocolate under my bed in June and in Darwin I packed into my teeny tiny fridge the cream, butter, and mozzarella necessary for the big day. Somewhere along the way Olive decided on a bigger wish, “I want to see dragons on my birthday.”

Can't Get Home Without Leaving

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 18:15:50 +0000

We are sailing off the beaten path a bit in Indonesia. We skipped joining a rally and are making it up as we go along. Our pursuit is for language and connection, fresh food, day to day life, green coffee beans, handmade fabric, some snorkeling, and volcanoes. I don’t remember when I first saw a photo of Kelimutu but it has been one of my must-go destinations.

Kelimutu is a high (1639 meters/ 5377 feet) volcanic mountain on Flores, deep inland near a small village called Moni. It last errupted in 1968. There are three enormous crater lakes filled with thickly pigmented water that changes color over time. Local lore says that spirits go to the lakes, and which lake a spirit is assigned to depends on the age and character of the person who died. There is one lake for young people (Tiwu Ko’o Fai Nuwa Muri- Lake of the Young Men and Maidens), one for old (Tiwu Ata Bupu- Lake of the Old People), and one for the thieves and murderers (Tiwu Ata Polo- Bewitched or Enchanted Lakes). Photos I had seen of Kelimutu were just stunning, I have a bit of an ongoing desire to see volcanoes, and since I was going to be in this part of the world I needed to figure out a way to go.

Selamat Jalan

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 18:15:36 +0000

In Bahasa Indonesia, Selamat means “Congratulations” and Jalan means “to go” (or “road” or “walk”, but work with me). Together these worlds (Slemat Jalan) mean “Goodbye,” but as we saw the words pass above us on a number of arches in our descent of the mountains from Kelimutu, I couldn’t help find the literal translation amusing; “Congratulations on going.” This little side trip definitely threatened, several times, to not let us go.

Kupang Traditional Market

Sat, 12 Sep 2015 07:44:35 +0000

“Where are you from?” they ask us. “Where is your home in America?” “How long was your flight?” It is difficult to answer and it is hard to explain in our few basic phrases. Our home has been only the boat for more than five years and San Francisco, California is written on the transom, so it’s the best answer we can offer.

I think the true answer may come when I start to feel homesick. It’s the big latte at Cafe Fanny on a cold Saturday morning. It’s the vegan yuba roll ups at the Berkeley Whole Foods Market, eaten in the car after making it through the busy store. It’s the endless vegetables at the Berkeley Bowl. It’s the carne asada tostada salad at Picante Taqueria. It’s Acme bread’s big round walnut loaf worth the long lines at the Mountain View farmer’s market. It’s the roast beef sandwich I crave from Whole Foods. It’s that smell in the air in the Penny Ice Creamery. It’s the dark chocolate salt caramels at Recchiuti. Maybe home is the San Francisco Bay Area after all.

No Fresh Perspective

Sat, 13 Jun 2015 21:40:44 +0000

I’m sitting in the City Library. Olive is watching Minecraft videos and Vick is reading a cookbook. This is the place where I spend the majority of my waking hours recently. It’s been my “office” for the last several months. This is the place where plantefunder.org took its new shape. The colors and sounds are so familiar that they have become my norm. Boat, Library, Gardens, Library, Boat. That’s my daily route. Even the handful of coffee shops I frequent aren’t as comfortable as this space has become.

Ready for Adventure Again (almost)

Thu, 28 May 2015 14:04:30 +0000

We arrived in Australia almost exactly two and a half years ago. Pulling into Brisbane after 15 months of cruising seemed decidedly like the end of our adventure. We were trading sun soaked beaches, a persistent, intimate awareness of the weather, sundowners with dear friends, and nearly daily boat maintenance for the relative ease of city life, a stable job, and weather that wouldn’t really affect us.

What I soon discovered was that it was just the start of a new adventure, one punctuated by forging new relationships, and building a life in a foreign country. Making this foreign country feel native—navigating the subtle cultural differences, finding our community, as well as coming to the understanding that all the animals that could kill us here, wouldn’t necessarily (under normal circumstances) want to kill us— was just as challenging and exciting as when we sailed through Mexico, or the Marquesas.

Community

Sat, 03 Jan 2015 13:48:00 +0000

From time to time, in the course of my travels, people have asked me about “home.” By this they usually mean the USA in general or one of the specific places I’ve lived. When I talk about the good things, I almost always start and end with community. I tend to describe (my) New England as a place where community is valued highly, and then give specific examples of the types of activities that illustrate this value. The coffee social we organized when we lived Mountain View was one common example, but this New Year’s Eve will be my new favorite (if I can find a way to encapsulate it).

Lyman Family Christmas: In Photos

Sun, 28 Dec 2014 18:39:59 +0000

We celebrated a late Christmas with Vick’s side of the family at her mom’s home. Despite our host getting sick at the last moment, it was a wild success, complete with two rounds of Cards Against Humanity for the bravest of the lot.

A (pseudo) Tourist in the Bay Area

Mon, 22 Dec 2014 15:27:53 +0000

Our trip to the Bay Area was surreal. We had the pleasure of staying with our Framily (the Logans). Their home feels like our home, even though they had only just moved in when we moved away. So much of our old community vibe lives there, that it was like stepping back into routine. And unlike our family, theirs is supremely tranquil. We also had the good fortune to connect with a few old and seriously dear friends, strengthening relationships that have been mostly on hold since we left.

Native Culture Shock

Wed, 03 Dec 2014 08:11:49 +0000

I’ve been meaning to sit down and put my thoughts to words for a week now. Arriving in the United States after 3 years abroad was certain to be a bit of a transition. This long separation is compounded by the nature of my lifestyle: the constantly shifting landscape (literally and metaphorically); the unique challenges of a life at sea; establishing myself for life and work in a (not so, but still) foreign country; and the very real fact that I have, over the past 3 years, manifested a life that is as close to my personal ideal as one can get while still balancing the needs and desires of three other individual beings.

GBR 2014 In Photos

Sat, 13 Sep 2014 19:35:11 +0000

I was going to hold these for an epic post about our trip but time seems to have gotten away from us. In lieu of a narrative, here is a little photo essay!

Tangalooma Easter Weekend Photots (part 1)

Fri, 18 Apr 2014 15:51:22 +0000

Photos after the break

Riverfire 2013

Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:57:50 +0000

Riverfire is a-mazing. The city of Brisbane (with generous support from the business sector) light fireworks off all along the waterfront from the Story Bridge to Southbank, and from the tops of the largest buildings in town. They have flyovers from impressive killing machines, and just an astounding amount of fanfare. We had a very small party on Convivia, where we enjoyed a front row seat to the best fireworks display I’ve ever seen.

Sliding in Sideways…

Thu, 26 Sep 2013 03:38:01 +0000

I’ve found myself having rather candid conversations about our finances lately. Inevitably I find myself saying “we’re skidding sideways into each paycheck.” Indeed last month we made it across the line by searching pockets for laundry money. It would, if I were inclined to look at it that way, be a realization of one of my worst pre-cruising fears.

Over the last week I conducted an informal survey of cruiser friends on Facebook. Of the 16 respondents 10 cited money as one of (if not the most significant) reasons that people fail to launch their cruising dreams. In About the Crew I described how we chose to throw financial responsibility to the wind, and I thought it suiting that I take a minute to let you know how that all shook out.

School Holiday

Sat, 13 Jul 2013 18:25:47 +0000

School Holiday is our family’s newest novelty. Vick braved the first week (of two) on her own. It was cold and rainy and they spend a lot of time baking and visiting the museums. By the end of the first week though (despite heroic displays of positivity) it was getting pretty clear that if we the three of them spent the next week on the boat, in the rain, it was not going to be a good scene. We consider ourselves to be pretty stout, flexible cruiser types. When the condensation gets so thick that it starts collecting as drops on the overheads, we grin and bear it. But this wet season seems to have started when we arrived in Australia and 7 months later, is still going strong.

And just like that… I'm plugged in!

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 03:18:20 +0000

I’ve always known that there is a flow to life. Swim with it and you move quickly towards your destination. Swim against and you may get where you think you want to go, but man do you have to work for it. After a year an a half of cruising, I was well positioned to stay in the flow, but it was surprisingly difficult to maintain my conviction in the sleepy months surrounding the holidays. The city was all but dormant, there were no jobs posted, no real professional meetups, and I was starting to think of forcing, and leveraging. In other words, I was getting desperate.

Brisbane is Seriously Awesome Folks, Seriously

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 00:14:32 +0000

You have seriously got to be kidding me. I love this city so much I want to dig up the homes of my family and friends and move them all here. Today we went to the Queensland State Library with the kids. We tricked them (yes, I am that devious) by telling them about the Augmented Reality treasure hunt that uses the ipad to find clues. In reality it is the best ruse ever to get kids to follow their parents on a magical tour of the coolest library I have ever been to.

Australia 2012 Recap in Photos

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 19:40:58 +0000

I have been pretty relaxed about my blog posting since we arrived. I think I thought I had little to say but the photos I have taken tell another story, so I will let them…

Ltd Espresso Blows My Mind

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 03:25:43 +0000

A double espresso is 15 grams of uniformly ground bean, 9 bars of pressure at the group head, and a 30 second pull at 92ºC (±2º). If you have ever stood by my side as I pulled a shot, you have heard this stated as fact. I suspect on some Platonic level it is fact. I also freely admit a certain amount of pride in both knowing this magical formula and being able to extract espresso that tastes great by using this formula. It’s not surprising then that I have invested a certain amount of confidence in said numbers. Today that confidence was utterly and totally shattered by the owner of Ltd Espresso.

Oooh heaven is a place on Earth

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 03:51:45 +0000

Krister summed it up pretty perfectly over margaritas the other night, “This place is like a joke, it’s like they said let’s take all the money the US spends on the military and spend it on public services.” Nail, meet hammer. Brisbane has free museums, free multi-city-block-long-swimming-lagoon-with imported sand, free public transportation in and around the city center, free bikes to ride, reliable water fountains, tons of live music, and a government mandate that building owners provide public facing art installations. This place is like a joke, and I love the punchline.

Where have we been all this time?

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 00:02:00 +0000

During one of our last days of our Pacific crossing Tucker and I sat in the cockpit remembering out loud each and every stop since we’ve been out cruising. Convivia sailed under the Golden Gate Bridge on October 1, 2011 and took a few weeks sailing down the coast of California. We spent five months in Mexico and in the spring of 2012 we began crossing the Pacific. We left Banderas Bay, Mexico on March 19th, 2012 and arrived in Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia on November 16, 2012. Since we left North America we spent 60 overnights at sea (I didn’t count the days or parts of days for those passages) and had 23 additional day sails. We zig-zagged north and south moving from colder to warmer and back until making landfall last Friday in Australia.

Mystery Island

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 02:48:08 +0000

Mystery Island is a little sand spit in the lagoon that we anchored in at Anatom. The island is haunted—or so the locals believe—and this makes it uninhabitable for any ni-Vanuatu. The interesting thing is that they don’t mind going over there for the day to sell cheap “made in China” trinkets to cruise ship tourists. They get a lot of opportunities to do this too as a cruise ship pulls in every 3-5 days (in season) to barf out a few thousand pink gaudily dressed tchotchke-hungry consumers. As a result the island has been “developed” into a kind of Survivoresqe theme park, part tasteful thatch shelter, part gauche photo-op, but all very interesting if you happen to go over there when the show isn’t on.

Everything Old is New Again

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 15:04:49 +0000

We’ve visited four of Vanuatu’s beautiful islands. We’re now in Port Vila experiencing the touristy city life, with ridiculous cover bands playing loudly on the harbor’s edge, gift shops filled with Chinese made souvenirs, and inappropriately dressed tourist girls. While I love our access to the waterfront showers, the delicious juice bar, and the amazing produce market, this is a scene that could be experienced in any country. Where we’ve come from in Anelcauhat, Aneityum and Port Resolution, Tanna, is another world, a world I’m so grateful to have seen.

Volcano - Photo Essay

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 05:01:06 +0000

Last Days in Tonga

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:55:08 +0000

First Day of School

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:47:53 +0000

One of the things that our kids miss while cruising are typical stateside milestones like the First Day of School. Where I grew up the first day of school was the day after Labor Day, which happens on the first Monday of September. Five year olds begin kindergarten, and while Olive doesn’t turn five for another couple of weeks, she would be a kindergartener now. We were lucky enough to send our kids to the General Primary School in Matamaka Village for their first day last week!

The Possibilities Are Endless

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 01:01:02 +0000

When I heard Zinnia was planning to move to Penrhyn I thought to myself, her mother may never see her again. And I thought that my children may end up moving to a place somewhere in the world, a place so remote that Lonely Planet only has five sentences to say about it.

I Should Get a Haircut EVERY Year

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 13:20:46 +0000

The Tropicana has become our hangout. It’s got good espresso, Internet, courtesy flags, a gluten free sensitized owner and is very cruiser friendly. Add to that the fact that Lisa(the owner) is our goto girl for local information and you start to see why we stop in every time we walk down the street.

So yesterday we were walking down the street, the kids were doing well, and we had a few hours to kill before the laundry would be ready (or so we thought). I realized that it was high past time to get that haircut I had been talking about for the last 6 months. Knowing that Lisa would be able to point me in the right direction, I popped my head in and asked the question. “…the guy in the back is a barber,” she answered, turning back to her bookkeeping.

Whales

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 13:44:55 +0000

The aluminum tour boat pulled along side Convivia at nine am on a cool wet morning. It was the first gloomy day in 5 days and we wished we could change our reservation. Unfortunately we had put our money down and were committed.

As the drizzle pelted our eyes the Operator (guide) gave us the spiel and implored us to help keep a lookout for whales. I got the kids settled and poked my head out into the spray to keep watch. I was struck by how fast we were moving. The boat’s 20 knots could have been 100. After moving no faster than 9 knots for weeks, it felt like we were flying. Soon we saw our first spout and doubled back to take a closer look.

I Have Never Felt So Foreign

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:27:32 +0000

When I visit a new country I tend to see all the ways in which its culture is different first. A week or so into my visit the similarities with my native culture overtake the differences and I am overwhelmed (for a time anyway) by the beauty of our world’s diversity.

Here on Samoa (pronounced Sa’ moa) I have yet to move fully into the second stage. Every time I feel like I am close, something alien is revealed to me that sets me back to seeing the differences. This (two) island nation is gorgeous. Its people are, by and large, incredibly outgoing and proud of their heritage, and they share a (second) language. I had expected this (amongst other things) to make it easy for me to fit in and feel welcome here. Not so much.

Suwarrow, a Photo Recap

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:36:11 +0000

We arrived in Apia, Samoa early in the morning yesterday. Thankfully the internet was fast enough here to upload a few photos.

The Frankenfold Myth

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 01:54:25 +0000

When I talk about our time in Papeete (Tahiti) I am inclined to describe it as all work and no play. When one is bogged down with projects like the Frankenfold (a.k.a the mainfold from hell), it is easy to forget that much fun has also been had. So before elaborating further on All The Fun® allow me to describe this particular bit of boat owner’s misery.

Frankenfold

Convivia has had numerous small fresh water leaks since we bought her. These have been dealt with more or less as they came up, and along the way I have even managed to improve on the system. On passage we started to develop a leak at the kitchen faucet, the location and disposition of which made it very difficult to fix. The short term solution was to decommission the faucet. Plumbing then took top priority on my project list. I had plenty of time to think about how best to address the situation. I wanted to remedy the existing problem and also make a substantial improvement to the overall stability of our ship’s pressurized water system. Ultimately this would have meant removing all of the hose and replacing it with Sea Tech hose. This being the middle of nowhere, I was not holding out of that. Plan B was to replace as many of the nylon fittings as I could and add a manifold as close to the pump as possible. After several (though it seemed like several hundred) trips to several hardware and marine stores, I was able to get all of the part together and complete the project. The result (as seen below) is not beautiful, but it works and solves a problem that would have been inevitable had I not taken the time.

Photos From Tahuata and Ua Pou

Fri, 04 May 2012 20:04:32 +0000

I fear I may sound like a broken record if I continue to extol the many virtues and superlatives of these remote, exotic, and vibrant islands. So rather than continue along that path, I will just share a few photos of our time in Tahuata (where we got the tattoos) and Ua Pou (where live the friendliest people in the Marquesas). Hopefully these varied snapshots will capture the essence of our last 2 weeks in a way that words can’t.

So Much Joy

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:38:02 +0000

Ah the pictures. I know I have gotten behind, and I apologize. This batch is less about beautiful places and more about smiling faces. This last month seems to have been overflowing with joy here on Convivia. Here are a few choice vignettes.

Another Chapter in the "Why Love Mexico" Series

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 06:00:06 +0000

I know, I’m a broken record, but I feel I underestimated Mexico and want to shout its praises for all who, like me, didn’t know what they were missing. I know I’m not that first to blog about this, we aren’t even the first to get video, but still this is special.

I took this footage after a long, stressful and slightly anti-climatic day. Afterwards I felt renewed, and ready to rock some bureaucracy. I can’t say public transportation in the USA ever gave me that much!

Goodbyes & Circles

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 04:00:42 +0000

Today we said goodbye to a family that we have been traveling with since Mazatlan. In the cruising world this is called buddy boating. That term really falls short of the mark though. When you cruise intentionally like this with another boat, especially one with kids the same age as yours, your lives get subtly interwoven. You tend to eat together daily, errands and activities sync up and within a few weeks you feel almost as at home on their boat as on your own.

Burn Out

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:57:23 +0000

I’m going to risk sounding slightly ungrateful or whiney—though perhaps other long term travelers will understand—in an attempt to bring some resolution to the way I am feeling today. I woke up this morning to this view:
(note, I took this with the iPad, just now. No extra care was taken, it looks more beautiful in real life).

It’s gorgeous right? I mean, more gorgeous than usual. Yet somehow my reaction to it was meh-ish. Vick thinks this might be the most stunning place we have been so far, but I am more interested in a nap and maybe a few days of book reading than going for a hike or zip line.

La Paz to Mazatlan in Photos

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 20:41:20 +0000

100ish Reasons I Love Mexico

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 08:49:55 +0000

I love this country. I love the chaotic efficiency that I’ve observed in everything from a marina checkins to hopping off a bus (they don’t quite stop to let you off). Speaking of busses, I love that they are all different. Today I saw one with a spoiler (after market on this model of Mercedes bus, I’m fairly certain) and a Hot Wheels® decal. Tonight’s bus was blaring tradtional mexican music alternating with hip hop.

Maine Vacation 2011 in Photos

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:50:41 +0000

This photo roundup covers the going away party and a few other highlights. Enjoy

…Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 11:22:42 +0000

There is just nothing like a small New England Town. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Damariscotta Maine. This particular coffee shop is attached to a book store. The book store, though relocated, is the same one that got me hooked on reading as a kid. The first memory I have of reading is a summer memory. It was June or July and we were staying at my grandparents’ cottage. I tore through the ancient Hardy Boys anthology that seemed to have been read by generations of Bradford boys. When I got through with the last one a peculiar melancholy overtook me. My mother, wise parent that she is, took me into town to the Maine Coast Bookstore and introduced me to Ewan Walker, the owner. He asked me a few questions and started to recommend books.

Family Time in Maine

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 11:11:21 +0000

Our summer visits home to Midcoast Maine have always been transformative and inspiring. Slowing our pace and enjoying time together as a family reminds us how life is meant to be and helps us to refocus our energy on things that matter most to us. This trip, as short as it is, has been no different. Already we have been talking about possible change of itinerary, and certainly thinking of as many ways to return to this idyllic spot as we can. The future is as uncertain as ever, but being here reminds us to be mindful of the present.

Where are you going?

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:50:02 +0000

There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go. Tennessee Williams

It’s getting pretty obvious that Convivia is going somewhere. We’ve added a big anchor, a new Quickcover for our main, a life raft, a Monitor Windvane, and most recently four solar panels. People are now asking us where we’re going. The funny thing is we’ve had this plan to “go out the Gate and turn left” for a decade. We’ve been pretty sure for nearly as many years that we’d head south for the Baja Ha-Ha whenever it was that we went. And that’s all we have actually planned.

Ship's Log: 4th of July Weekend, 2011

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 22:50:27 +0000

I’ve found, time and again, that no plan is the best plan. This weekend was a perfect proof of that theory. On Friday night we still didn’t know where we were going. Would we go back to our old tried and true anchorage (Horseshoe Cove) or brave the sail-in-sail-out anchorage at Aquatic Park? Would we prioritize getting a good view of the fireworks, shoreside activities, or visiting with friends? As it turns out, we managed all three.

Ship's Log: April 2-3 — Horseshoe Cove

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 22:24:39 +0000

“Olive, what was your favorite part of today?”

“Anchoring out. Don’t you think it’s everyone’s favorite part? I bet everyone in the world loves anchoring out.”

We almost didn’t anchor here. The Cruising Guide to San Francisco Bay, had more caveats than usual for this anchorage— Don’t even attempt if it’s foggy; you might get sucked right out the gate as you approach; the Coast Guard won’t take nicely to your presence on their side of the anchorage; etc.. After calling ahead (another recommendation from the guide) we were told that we were more than welcome to anchor, but there was a lot of surge, a few other people had called that day, and there was a pile of flotsam tied to a mooring out in the middle of the harbor that they were worried might work itself loose. But sure, come on down.

Childhood Experiences… Missing

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 02:00:11 +0000

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the kids’ childhoods will differ from their contemporaries as a result of this wild adventure we’re about to embark upon. Ruby understands that there are many things we will be giving up to go sailing around the world but I don’t think she’s got the context to understand it fully yet. The following are some of the experiences that Ruby and Olive might never share with their peers.

Farewell Britannia

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 21:41:01 +0000

Today we helped cast off the bow lines of Britannia, Amanda and Krister’s Canadian Seacraft 36. They have begun their two year trip around the Pacific.

On November 22 I wrote this, “Last night we had a great time laughing and comparing notes with Amanda and Krister from s/v Britannia. We’re making it a habit of meeting and befriending people that are about to sail to Mexico though. I’ll have to spend some time thinking about friendship among people on the move.” Little did I know then how much fun we were getting into. We snuck our friends though our forward companionway many many times after the kids were all snug in their berths for the night. We’ve shared margaritas, bottles of wine, cups of coffee and lots of long talks, laughter, and smiles so big that our cheeks hurt.

Photo Highlights: Santa Cruz Cruise

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:41:22 +0000

Tons of Free Sailing Kindle Books

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 21:59:42 +0000

I just went over to Amazon to rate to the new Toshiba drive I purchased and saw to my excitement that a book by Joshua Slocum was free on Kindle. I snapped it up and then noticed that another of his book and, lo a metric ton of other sailing books were also there for the taking. Many of these are in the public domain, and I’ve discussed how to search for and download them in my last post on the subject. Some however are either new to the public domain, or just lucky finds. I’ll post links at the bottom.

Home

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:46:45 +0000

I wasn’t at home when we were tied into slip A58 in Monterey Harbor. I was homesick. Surprising yes, since I was on my own boat, tied up with my usual dock lines, cooking in my own galley, and sleeping in my own bed. I spent my time in Monterey constantly checking the three forecast areas on NOAA to find our perfect weather window to head north. Again, I was surprised at myself. The trip north is usually hard, wet, and cold. Our boat is in great shape and we could actually (foolishly) cash in Tucker’s retirement accounts and head south for at least a year. I always want to go south, or anywhere warmer than wherever I am. But I wanted to go north, to go home.

September's End in Photos

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 22:17:11 +0000

A Working Vacation

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:03:33 +0000

This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down at my computer in six days. When in the last 15 years have I been able to say that?

This vacation was certainly unique. Since it was a last minute (we decided at lunch two days before departing) decision, the expectations were low. Regardless, none of us were prepared for the highs and lows of this last week.

On the high side:

Pre-K Geography

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:50:05 +0000

Believe it or not this was spontaneous. I have no idea how Olive knew where the pirates are or where Hawaii is. I guess unschooling is working for our family.

Catalina in Retrospect

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 08:14:23 +0000

We are back home now and the verdict is in. This vacation was a resounding success. Its likely that this was our best and favorite family vacation ever. We had some logistical issues, and some moments of frayed nerves, but that is to be expected. What really impresses me is how we all worked together to make sure that everyone could enjoy the trip.

Ruby was a total champ. When Vick and I were busy, she would entertain her sister down below. She devised a multitude of games, and when we finally bought a couple containers of Play-dough she would spend hours with her making pretend food and serving it up.

Catalina: New Year's Eve

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 08:05:26 +0000

Yesterday we went out for a pleasure sail. We sailed out of Catalina Harbor in the morning and puttered around the Outer Santa Barbara Channel. The wind was promising when we left the harbor. It had been assaulting our transom all night, smacking the harbor against the hull loudly enough that we almost turned the boat on our mooring.

By the time we got under sail the wind died. This has been the great frustration of sailing here. We can see wind on the ocean all around but wherever we are seems to be becalmed. Since we didn’t have any destination I wasn’t inclined to turn on the engine. We just wallowed, boom creaking in the light puffs of wind that would occasionally grace us. Our speed over water was 0 knots for at least an hour.

Catalina: Avalon to Catalina Harbor

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:51:07 +0000

My face and belly are radiating that kind of inside out warmth that comes from a day of doing all ones favorite things. I don’t mean to lead my readers to believe that today was easy. The children were on again off again unmanageable and Victoria was regularly overwrought by her prognostication that, due to said children, and an unfortunately poor choice of words on my part the night before, she didn’t know if “this was going to work.” (She was of course referring to the Big Trip.) Normally when my family is assaulted by this severe a maelstrom I am emotionally and pragmatically debilitated for the duration. The whole of my attention is consumed trying to determine what I am going to do about it.

Buying a SIM card in India

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:04:01 +0000

I had a heck of a time purchasing and subsequently using my Indian Airtel SIM card. I learned a lot in the process that might be useful to other travelers visiting India. The following are some of my experiences as well as a few suggestions.

Obtaining a SIM card from abroad:

This is perhaps the most confusing step in an entirely confusing process. I started by trying to purchase a card online. This is a complete non-starter. All of the links that I found point to sites that seem to have been set up prior to 26/11 (Mumbai’s Terrorist attacks). Subsequent to the attacks, India’s government set up a serious bureaucracy that seems to do little more than inconvenience legitimate customers.

Yo Ho Ho Ho

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:25:39 +0000

We’ve really needed a relaxing family vacation for a while, and with time counting down to the big trip, we also need to make sure that the family is up for extended sailing. Last night, after weeks of thinking about these two items individually a plan popped into my head that married both of these concerns into a harmonic union.

This morning I asked Ruby if she would like to go sailing for the week after Christmas. She asked a bunch of probing questions – “Can I bring my dolls?” and “What will we do about pirates” – and when she was satisfied with the answers, wholeheartedly supported the plan.

Hong Kong and India Pictures

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:40:25 +0000

I’ve just posted the best (331) pictures from our trip. I will be adding Titles and Summaries over the next few days but if there is one that you would like to know more about in the meantime, just add a comment here with the picture’s URL and I’ll jump ahead. The “En Trip” sub-album contains photos I uploaded while we were traveling. For the most part they are duplicates (at lower resolution) of what is in the main album, but there are a few gems from my Dad’s phone.

The Victory of Providence Over Planning

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:12:42 +0000

“It looks like the rain has let up a bit, should we make a run for it?” I asked, equivocating. “Its probably as good as any time,” Dad replied.

We had been enduring monsoon rains for hours, holed up first at the Cafe del Mar and later at Abba. It was getting late and we still had to pack.

So we made a dash for it and, as if cued by some rueful sadistic god, the rain intensified. Too late to change course, we soldiered into the torrent. Dad helped my pull my bike out of the muddy garbage heap. I was ankle deep in brown water and suddenly grateful that I was: a) wearing my sandals; and b) immunized against Hep A.

RED SHIFT (VII) -- The Circle in the Square

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:38:53 +0000

Varkala, Kerala

November 14, 2009

The muezzin’s chant wakes me at 5 am. It is still dark outside except for the occasional lightning bloom over the Arabian Sea. The early morning rumbles with ominous portents. First a ferocious dogfight down the lane with anguished howls from the injured, then an argument between man and a woman close by, the first public display of such emotion I have witnessed. I lie back on my pillow to read with my nightlight, trying not to disturb T who is sleeping peacefully beside me. But peace is not the order of this morning. An enormous swarm of screaming blackbirds begins wildly swirling the palms in the walled garden just to our south, reminding me of a Hitchcock movie with it’s eerie freneticism.

Living in the Moment or Denial is the Lesser Part of Valor

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:43:16 +0000

Our trip is winding to a close. Tomorrow at 5:30 am we will hop in a taxi and with any luck be taken to a train station where we will be whisked away to Cochin. We’ll check our bags at the airport and then spend the day wandering around Cochin. By 8:30pm we will be on a plane to Mumbai and from there it will be only a few hours before we are on our way to California.

Counter Planning - Gaming the System

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:38:29 +0000

Today’s plan was to make no plans. In completely surrendering the very most basic of control we hoped to avoid the loss of control that seems to be the norm here. It was an ingenious counter-plan if I may be permitted the immodesty, and it worked like a charm.

We started the day by puttering over to Varkala Beach. We asked around in the shops for a wooden printing block, and were told that we would have to go to Trivandrum for that.

Varkala to Kovalam - or Close Enough

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:21:08 +0000

We had a tasty breakfast at the local + organic ABBA restaurant (where, I kid you not, they play non-stop Abba), and then headed out for coffee and an Internet fix.

I have to admit that the power surge that blew up my laptop power supply was pretty annoying, but i still managed to get over it after a few minutes. The downside to this is that I will be typing all of my posts on my iPhone from here on out (please forgive the typos), and l will have to be more stingy with photos.

A Royal (Enfield) Adventure

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:31:02 +0000

After getting situated in our hotel room, the first order of business was to get a couple of motorcycles so we might regain a modicum of control over our adventure. Dad had an aesthetic interest in the Royal Enfield. So we asked our host if he could arrange such a thing. After a little back and forth on the details he went off to see what he could do. A few minutes later he came back with the details and within 30 minutes we were staring at two of the most beaten up bikes left in India. The first Royal Enfield bikes were built in India in 1955, and I suspect that ours were from the first batch.

Bangalore to Varkala

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:51:46 +0000

We left Bangalore last night on an overnight train. We were joined in our sleeper (2AC) car by two guys who were heading to Cochin for a business meeting. After chatting for a while they started making recommendations for our next few days. “You must go to Varkala” they pressed “You will find nice people there and its not too busy”. We chatted a bit longer and then settled in to read the guide books. Dad and I both picked a few hotels that looked good and then hit the hay.

RED SHIFT (VI) -- Coffee Day

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:49:27 +0000

Kerala Express

November 10, 2009

I am flying on the manic side of our India bi-polar experience today as T and I speed south on the “superfast” Kerala Express through the southern jungle. Our bunkmates on the Bangalore to Cochin train last night convinced us to skip Cochin altogether and head straight for the white sand beaches and palms of Varkala and Kovalam. They suggested we take a bus south, but only a Volvo bus. The other KSRTC buses, they assured us, we would not enjoy. I am silently thanking them for their good advice as I, Varkala bound, peer out our window at the rice paddies, rivers and thick green jungle. I spy a woman dressed in a bright orange sari with a turquoise shawl and a pink parasol walking up a red clay road and feel as if I am watching some PBS documentary, not experiencing this in real life.

Shopping in India

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:31:40 +0000

We knew that we sucked at haggling, and I’ve been fairly warned that Westerners have a harder than average time getting a good price without an Indian to support them, but for some reason I held out hope. After seeing the big smiles on three different wallah’s faces, I knew I had been well and truly bested.

I am totally okay with that though. Shopping in Mysore has been a total joy. “Come in, sit down. I will pour you and your father some tea” sings the merchant in the Silk Museum. “This is your son?”, he asks my father. “Your father has been here 3 times already, we have much respect for him, I will give you special price.” Good Lord, I’m in for it already and I haven’t even looked at the merchandise yet.

TEDIndia Recommendations

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:26:24 +0000

I’m staying in Mysore now, at the lovely Green Hotel. If you happen to be visiting Mysore, I can’t recommend it highly enough. I am still processing the conference and trying to sort out what it all means, and how what I learned there will change me and my course. The one thing I can be sure of is that it has changed me. The speakers, naturally, were (mostly) all amazing, but what really pulled the whole event together were the attendees. From the moment I stepped out of the registration I was greeted by one warm, generous, and engaging person after another. As the conference proceeded, little networks began to form. One new friend would introduce me to another until I felt I knew every like minded person in the thousand person audience.

RED SHIFT(V) -- House Call

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:37:25 +0000

Bangalore

November 8, 2009

Darkness falls abruptly here. At 6 p.m. it is raining hard and the light is abandoning us. Tucker hangs onto the luggage rack of our ancient 100 cc. Hero Honda with a steely grip as I pitch and weave through the crush of Mysore traffic, wiping the fog from my glasses and searching for any clue as to where we might be. Mysore is laid out like a Mandala, with roads radiating outward from the Maharaja’s Palace. An endless web of crooked lanes link the rays, with confusing traffic circles at key intersections. Watchtower Circle, New Statue Circle, Devaraja Urs Swamibatami Circle. Their names are helpfully scribed in Kannada, the predominant second language of Karnataka state. Occasionally a sign in English will give a vague nod in the right direction, but I am forever disappointed in my hope for clear direction. When the sun is out I know my compass points, but in the dark of night in the rain it is dead reckoning only, hopefully in the primary meaning of the phrase. Still, the fact that Sateesh’s motorcycle has no working lights or horn raises the vague possibility of second meanings.

RED SHIFT (III) -- Connection

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:09:17 +0000

The Green Hotel, Mysore

November 6, 2009

Here it is 3 a.m. and I have just awakened. It is as quiet as it gets in India. I know it is likely that I will still be awake when the big birds start crowing at 6 a.m. I still haven’t seen them, and probably couldn’t identify them if I did, but they are reliable whatever they are. And they only seem to crow at 6; I don’t hear them at other times of day. When they coo and warble I know the emptiness of the nighttime will soon end.

Red Shift (II) -- Hope and the Banyan Tree

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:39:03 +0000

I’ll write this while I still have power. It flickers off at irregular intervals, part of the official load relief program, so the Hindi Times says. This makes it sound planned, but it’s not. Sort of like “Quantitative Easing,” the U.S. load relief program. It has the small businesses in Mysore in a tizzy, because they never know when they’ll have consistent power. When you’re running a foundry and everything cools off in the middle of a run, it makes for a sticky mess. The government still happily adds new customers, nevertheless.

Red Shift - Tippu Express

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:26:09 +0000

Tucker and I are planted on platform number 9 waiting where the porter has deposited us for the 3 p.m. Tippu Express to Mysore. It is 1:30 p.m. and Tuck has settled in for the long wait, putting his backpack down on the dirty cement platform and perching atop it with easy adaptability. I am standing at parade rest, one hand gripping my matched luggage.

It is hot, but not oppressive, and the hundred or two other passengers have made themselves as comfortable as possible, chatting, rearranging belongings, trying to position themselves on the platform to be located properly for their car when it arrives, or staring at us. I am trying not to stare back, but with little success. Oddly, there are no flies despite the fecund air and abundant garbage.

India Adventure - Serialized

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:32:02 +0000

If you’re just tuning in now, please skip back to the post on Hong Kong, and read the remaining posts in reverse order. If you don’t I’m not sure they would make too much sense. Please leave comments (especially suggestions) in the comments section.

Food

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:26:37 +0000

I would guess that more than half of the average person’s enjoyment of food is subjective. There are clearly objective thresholds that must be met (and those differ from person to person) in order for a meal to be enjoyable. I would argue though that what sets the exemplary meal apart from the good, for most people has to do with atmosphere, service, and other intangibles.

Gaylord’s nailed the subjectives. Perhaps they didn’t need to even try. So completely overwhelmed, tired, hungry, and hopeful were we, perhaps any place would have brought a contented smile to our faces. I ordered off menu (paneer tikka masala) and my dad ordered the lamb roganjosh. The staff were omnipresent but somehow not imposing. When the food arrived it exceeded all of my expectations and all of my prior experiences. At this moment (it was my last substantial meal) I would believe that it was the best Indian food in the world.

Arriving in India

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:17:52 +0000

The flight to Mumbai was as sublimely pleasant as the long haul to Hong Kong had been. It wasn’t until we started our descent that the uncertainty started to set in. Looking down on the city from the approach path you see slums everywhere with occasional stands of sky scrapers sprouting up amongst them. We landed and disembarked and things were pretty predictable until we reached the last turn before the elevator that descended to the H1N1 screening area. Blood curdling screams reached up to assault us and I could have sworn that someone was being tortured. Rounding the corner I was relieved to identify the owner of the tormented bellow. She couldn’t have been more than 2 years old. My relief was instantaneous. A universal sympathy connected me to her parents and I alighted the escalator with a small smile. The customs and immigration process was a tremendous press of bodies. The bodies combined with the unfamiliarity of the language to dispossess me of my remaining emotional energy. I was running on empty.

India Photo Gallery

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 08:18:35 +0000

For those of you following our adventures at home, you might want to keep an eye on the India 2009 Photo Album (located @ </v/India2009>). We fly out today at 1am. With the time change and the date line, I’m thoroughly confused when (exactly) we arrive, but its somewhere around tomorrow at 7:15pm Hong Kong Time. Shortly thereafter I’ll start uploading photos.

Preparing for TED and India

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:37:02 +0000

3 days to go. I can’t remember ever being this excited for a trip. I haven’t packed a thing yet, but I spend every spare second thinking about what to bring (and perhaps more importantly what to leave behind). The anticipation of the people I’m going to meet and the places I’m going to see is nerve wracking and thrilling and overwhelming.

I’m buried at work. TED related activity, on both the TEDIndia and Jill’s Wish front have created a maelstrom of tasks and objectives. Beyond that I’ve got new and old projects coming out my ears. Come Friday, I will have to find a way to let all of those things go so that I can be free to lose myself in this experience.

TED India and Beyond

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:47:28 +0000

While I was on vacation, I received word that I had been invited to be a guest at TED India 2009. Tonight I completed the registration and made it official. My tickets are purchased and plans are being laid.

When I mentioned to my dad that I was almost certainly going to India, he told me that he had always wanted to go and got this far away look in his eye. I instantly extended an invitation to him, hoping that he would accept, but aware that it was a big lift for him. I was happily surprised when my Mom started to encourage him and he gradually agreed that this was the chance of a lifetime. Of course my parents have this habit of dreaming about things in a way that looks to outsiders like resolve, so I was optimistically skeptical until last week when we bought our plane tickets.

East Coast Family Vacation 2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:33:41 +0000

We just returned from a truly wonderful vacation. I took the family back East (Boston, Portland, Round Pond) for almost the whole month of August. We saw most of our family, got to welcome baby Jacob into the world, and many of our oldest friends.

It was a true vacation in every sense. The children both came into their own. Ruby, discovering her roll in our family (nuclear and extended), found her inner sweetness (best self) and showed an unexpected degree of maturity, self reliance, and empathy. This was best expressed when she was shepherding her sister around, pointing out dangers, explaining tricks and relationships, and helping her get her needs met.