best self

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All Is Well

I’m tucked into the corner of the settee, wedged in with seven pillows so I don’t move and I don’t have to support my own body. The bucket is next to me but I’ve taken my seasick pill and I hope to sleep instead of vomit. The dorade vent that goes under water only drains […]

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Days to Remember

A few days ago I was told that my dorades were dusty. The next day another person mentioned how dirty my decks were. And yet another person asked me why I had so much crap in my cockpit. All of these criticisms hit me deeply and personally and brought back every single boat insult ever […]

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Jump for Joy

We have an odd tradition on Convivia. I would like to believe that it was modeled after a trait I picked up in my wilderness canoeing days, but really , it is probably more just good fortune. We tend to set a day for departure, work our butts off to make that schedule, and then […]

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Panen Raya (Harvest Time)

Back when I was a dirt dweller, I used to buy coffee beans from this little warehouse in Oakland. The company, Sweet Maria’s, was owned and operated by a guy who personally flew around the world, visiting plantations, sampling coffee beans at the source, and then buying small batches from the best of them. I have […]

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Passage Gratitude

I don’t know what exactly it is about passagemaking that brings out these feelings but it’s so common as to be a phenomenon. Despite the sleep deprivation, and subtle (and sometimes acute) hardships of crossing hundreds of miles of ocean. Despite being cramped in a small, often roughly rolling vessel with two lovely but demanding […]

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Dad Moments

Parenting is hard. I still find myself waking up at night to tend to bad dreams, or bug bites, and there’s the constant sibling squabbles, and, with us, homeschooling battles. That’s not to mention the challenges of ushering our kids through their self-identification.  I have noticed, several times over the busy few years past, that I haven’t […]

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Miles Turns 7: A Parenting Win

It’s not an unfamiliar scene on Convivia. It’s the night before a present giving event, and Vick and I are wondering if we should run out and get one or two more things. “We have Ruby’s presents (the most substantial expenditures this year at $24), and my 6″ handmade felt pterodactyl,  and… that’s it.” Our […]

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Best Day Ever

I have a hard time assigning superlatives. I tend to experience life in an abstract way that doesn’t depend heavily on specific, quantifiable metrics. So when I say that this was the best day ever, take that with a grain of salt. There were other best days. They might have been better, who knows. Not […]

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The Sailing Me

“I wish everyone who knew me could know the sailing me!” I posted this on Facebook today. It was one of those thoughts that popped into my head ready to publish, and didn’t require a lot of fact checking. As the day passed though, I found myself coming back to that thought. What makes the […]

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Slut Shaming — From a Man’s Perspective

I’ve been noticing a lot of articles, podcasts, tweets, and other coverage lately about slut shaming and rape culture. Maybe it’s that I have decidedly feminist  sexual politics and my friends and news feeds tend to reflect and amplify those topics, or maybe (I can hope) it’s because our society is starting to realize that […]

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