Relationship Hacking: You Are Welcome

September 12, 2015

Last night our leveled up. I am going to share the secret with you now. Shhhh.

When you have one of those itches on your back and you ask your dearest to “please please scratch it”, but they can’t find it, and it feels like they are intentionally missing the spot. Don’t despair, just follow this simple process.

Have your lover divide your back into a grid. For the sake of universality, let’s say the longitude lines run left -> right, 1 -> 5 (with 3 crossing the spine). Now the latitude lines run top -> bottom, 1 -> 10 (with 5 being mid back).

Now say to your lover, “oh baby, i’ve got an itch. It’s in 3:5.” She’ll hit the spot right away. But if it’s one of those adenturing itches, a mover as it were, just say “it’s on the move towards 5:5.” Or maybe “I need a carpet bomb on 1:3 – 3:5.”

It’s like the battleship of itches. You are welcome.

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